Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
Whenever someone from high school gets pregnant or has a pregnancy scare my self esteem grows a good 5 points
I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
Meeting relatives from another state drenched in tequila and smelling of weed. I'm gonna kill you for soaking the only bra I brought in Jose Cuervo Gold.
You put Smirnoff in your grape juice and called it communion...
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
In that state of mind I managed to bounce back from getting hit by a golf cart and convince an investigations officer that I was okay to go into the game.
The only reason I know his name is because we wrote marriage vows in orange crayon on the back of a Walmart receipt.
I definitely don't remember licking the drag queens boob.
Pretty sure we ruined a bachelorettes life last night
I think I met my butt stuff soulmate
I woke up next to him with nothing on and my thong around his neck. I just put my clothes on and left, but he still has my thong.
Invitations to sext will not be acknowledged until 10 a.m. EST. Thank you for your cooperation. We apologize for any inconvenience.
You're my best friend, so I'm kinda scared to say this, but.....I kinda feel odd when I show up with you at your family events and I have banged or blown at least 3 people in the room
Randomize
