she said she'd get any tattoo I wanted ... so she's getting a large crossword puzzle as a tramp stamp. I'm the Einstein of doggy style
Got to see someone fall down the stairs while holding hot coffee and a folder full of papers. Best Monday ever.
As soon as he told me I had a 'pretty laugh' I knew I'd be putting out more than I had originally planned.
He wore homemade jorts on our first date. I'm not sure if I should leave now or embrace the white trash lust and marry him
nothing says new school year like ambulances and police road blocks.
Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
... They left for 10 minutes and came back with a lobster he's in the toilet downstairs
and honestly how many chances will you get to hook up with a one armed guy?
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
I just finished spraying the foam party off my pumps with a garden hose
How much money would it take for the bouncer to get us beers while we wait in line to get in?
$450 apparently whoopwhoop
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
No, you are in the clear. The police officer finally just said "I give up" and walked away.
Randomize