hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
I am pretty sure he just licked my hand while trying to sing goo goo dolls iris to me. Get me out of this state.
Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
Slept on the counter again. Mom covered me in an apron.
I want to do something romantic. Like gargle champagne before I put your dick in my mouth.
sleeping in bed with your booty calls married sister...you're the stuff heroes are made of.
I just got a nosebleed on a date at the cheesecake factory...
just run out of the bathroom with blood gushing down your face and scream "ITS IN THE CHEESECAKE!!!!!"
Just walked into the bar to find a guy in a Boba Fett helmet leaning casually against the wall, texting. This night just got real.
My walk of shame was 2 miles of feathers flying off of me, underwear in hand, and a homeless man telling me he'd pray for me. It was gold medal worthy.
I STILL HAVE A HARD TIME DECIDING WHAT TO WEAR IN THE MORNING HOW WOULD IT BE POSSIBLE FOR ME TO PICK A PAIR OF PANTS AND GO OH ILL JUST WEAR THESE FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE
WE'RE MOVING TO IRELAND!!!! DON'T ASK QUESTIONS JUST BOOK THE DAMN FLIGHT!!!!
This band has the most fuckable violin player I have ever seen.
So high that I just walked into class, late, sat down in my desk, and tried to buckle my seatbelt.
All I remember was my mom walking through the door, and then me asking her if she wanted a hit.
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
Randomize
