I just realized i haven't had sex in 2009. oh man thats embarrassing.
PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
She paints her nails the color of the sheets of the last guy she slept with
I just brought the toaster out onto the porch to light a cigarette, don't talk to me about being desperate.
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
He wrote on the paper that he wanted a "Ptitty burreto" from taco bell...when we ordered it the girl paused and entered "Potatoe burrieto"....we laughed
Using a 12 year old as a wingman. Does that make me a bad person?
Moral of the story: don't have drunken shower sex with the lights off...or you WILL break your foot. And the shower knobs.
how many people can say they bit their tattoo off?
all my money is vodka money
I have never read a truer sentence.
You couldn't remember her number so you tried to dial her name into your phone. Once you realized you didn't know her name, you dialed 7 random numbers
The problem with having sex on the couch is that your blanket ends up in the laundry and you're left cold on the couch the next day.
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
Gotta love college... Pregamed for my 8:30 flight home this morning and gave the flight attendants all high fives when I got on the plane. Best ride of my life.
Randomize
