You up for the gym tonight after work?
I'm up for a light workout and a nice yog.
Fair enough, I'm gonna hit it hard today.
Chris Brown style, or less felonious?
Haha, all felonious.
This guy sitting next to me just bought a plot of land off the internet. On a whim. In the middle of class
i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
you would pick up someone in the library
i got us presents. or arrested. we shall see!
I'm sorry i ruined our friendship with a boner
At some point tonight the bad ideas in my head became bad decisions that happened outside my head
I feel like I got hit by a truck. Or a baby dinosaur. One of them ran over my body and then stuck me in a blender of fire and storm clouds
You fucked him. I baby bird fed him whiskey . I feel like we've bonded.
Please tell me how I go from a guy with a coke problem to a cop. My own life doesn't even make sense to me anymore
You guys I wore sweatpants to work today because I simply forgot to put on real pants and I had a weed brownie and a juice box for breakfast. I am not ready for parenting.
So, in keeping with the last two years, are we going to watch the new Hobbit movie on acid again? It's kinda starting to feel like a Christmas tradition.
Fuck it, I'm going to make my own dick pic album since iOS 10 won't do it for me.
You don't know the capacity of my vagina
Wow I really just sharted up in this Kroger
Randomize
