Jon just got arrested by the quesadilla police
What?!?
What I actually meant, is I had a quesadilla, and Jon got arrested by the real police
I just watched a trucker jack off to a picture of Ellen DeGeneres at a truck stop in Nebraska.
Knee deep in strippers, everything is comped. will try hard to be there at 8. i promise.
We discussed our relationship status. We're dating exclusively. And the conversation was followed by him saying "C'mon baby, let's make you orgasm!" .....I'm gonna marry him.
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
i literally paused in the middle of it, turned on my light, pointed to the picture netxt to my bed and go "you hooked up with my roommate too!!! AWWW!" he was so weirded out. i don't think he understands the relationship we have..we share..
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
Two girls just making out in the elevator. Didn't stop when the doors opened. Part of me didnt mind, but part did. Bc I wanted to get on the elevator without it getting awkward. Am I gay?
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
I'm going to call you, don't answer. Need to practice moaning to your answering machine again
i've eaten like 19 popsicles... what the fuck have you done today?
It's times like this I miss having my nipples pinched
You know you've got awesome issues when the main deciding factor of whether or not to cut your nails depends on nacho consumption in the near future
I came home braless and wearing a tail....
he's fucking insane. he's worse than me. is that even possible? I'm only with him because his dick is huge. I need Jesus.
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