Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
I think I took your hangover as a birthday present
my lips still taste like vagina
so you liked breakfast?
ehh, still wish we woulda went to IHOP instead
Please stop sending me picture messages of your shit. Seriously. I don't care if it looks like popcorn chicken.
she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
Yeah I mean its Vermont, not like id be the first guy to trade pharmaceutical services for beer
I generally just try to vote by which candidate I think has the bigger dick. Sorry Romney.
I took "we live within stumbling distance of the bar" as an invitation and challenge
When do you sleep by the way. I was surprised when I went to work at 1 am,left at 7 am and had a text from you somewhere in between
I just vodka nap now...
Just broke my no shot rule again.. Made out with a stranger. That's 0 for 3 this month for the record
I danced with a french guy who licked the sweat off my neck and poured a drink on me. Not gonna lie, that shit was refreshing
I got unbelievably drunk yesterday, need some time off. Apparently pulling your balls out to make your buddy's girlfriend miss beerpong shots is frowned upon.
Make me food? I don't want to be a science experiment. I'm dunk. Holy shit. Drunk*. Let's do science.
we had sex in his office so i figured it was appropriate to like his company's page on facebook
Randomize
