By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
So am i just your go-to 'i found a tick on my penis' number?
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
I give him a gold star every time I orgasm. His room looks like he's freaking King Midas.
He's freaking out just because my cat licked his balls while he was fucking me
You have not lived until you have drunkenly grinded on your mother. Daughter of the year right here.
I just made kick ass drunk stir fry while taking care of three other drunk people and doing shots. I don't understand how that's not wife material
I was 100% done.. I used my vibrator while eating cold pizza. Shit was magical.
I'm spending my Sunday wishing the entire Patriots offense would let me touch their manhood
You chose shitty college football over this pussy and my cute little mouth. That's your fault.
Baked out of my mind. Went in the bathroom, a daddy long leg spider and a carpenter ant are battling it out on the floor. I brought my computer with some dubstep.
OMG THE ANT WON
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
Well Jon got a DUI sleeping in the back seat so I thought the trunk was safer. BUT WHO CARES WHY JUSE PLEASE COME LET ME OUT!
I wanted to have a threesome but they’re TOO HETERO
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