New discovery: doing the Helen Keller is not as attractive as I thought it would be, in reference to the sex noises.
Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
Elton John & Lady Gaga just did a duet on the Grammies. How appropriate. He likes cock & she happens to have one.
Nope it's him. He's whispering to himself and buying asparagus.
so I made out with a lobbyist last night. im officially a resident of D.C
I thought about donating plasma but thats not the way i want to find out that i have aids
i'm surprised you didn't wake up. like i literally came when he was fingering me as i was spooning with you and all you did was mumble "that's a good idea, mom" and pull the sheets away from me.
It's annoying. I only date people who are 6 foot 3, drug dealers, or 2 years older than me.
So, I'm drinking, and I put my head down in the table. The cat jumped up to check on me, I have a cat sober monitor.
The only difference between us and a pack of 14 year old girls is substance abuse
The police report said "I asked the suspect if he had any identification. He replied yes and gave me a Pizza Hut gift card"
Ultimate cock block. About to have sex and your mom calls you so you can go help your grandmother figure out how to vote for the voice on her iPad
YAS. BRING CRAB.
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
Randomize
