Best moment of my life. I just got a text from some random number that said i can't wait to touch you. Her name is kiara and she had the wrong number.
It was not a dingleberry, it was a dinglemelon
he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
I wish I could just thrust my cock straight into her new relationship.
Plotting your own moral demise should not be this fun
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
at wine tasting. Can i cleanse my Palate with a frito?
Nothing quite like coming out of an alcohol induced blackout walking down Spruill Avenue carrying a silver briefcase full of IT tools you don't know where they came from. This is my life.
I need to have some sort of hot sex experience in a mask.
I just ate beer and cupcakes for breakfast.... maybe this fourth of july won't be so bad
Best case scenario you died and I melt into poo
Because cocaine and lesbian hookups on a Tuesday cannot be the new normal
I've officially slept with/dated two guys that have gotten tased. What the fuck is wrong with me
I think I got into an argument with my cat's former owner about what a BDSM relationship entails.
Randomize
