id be glad to
I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
well we are all hammered and my parents are reminiscing about all the times they drove us home drunk from Christmas
And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
U offered to motor boat her and it somehow turned into u two going on a sunset cruise in Newport. At 3am.
Just thought you should know, Im with josh now. Im no longer available for rent. I have a full time tenant now. Like, a year long lease at least.
That's not as bad as watching a dumb ass drunk peeing into your window fan -
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
Hey, sorry for threatening to teabag your mom to death last night
I'm a lady. Ladies do NOT hump the floor.
I am watching the most amazing drunk person ever. Literally such a trooper that you can put anything in front of him he'll drink it. His latest reason for taking another shot was: well whatever. I'm never gonna get married anyway.
I was about to break it off with him because I realised he only wanted me for sex, until I realised that I only wanted HIM for sex. Win/win
What's a really polite way of saying "you have gravely overestimated the value of your vagina?"
Then you screamed in her face to shut up about thick thighs saving lives because actually they can suffocate people during oral sex
Drunk me is very safety conscious And apparently just as annoyed by her as sober me
Randomize
