I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
I think i just called up my ex and talked to her for 20 minutes about frogs and how happy i am to be wearing shorts
No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
We need to start having sex underwater more often.
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
just found out i can blow out the flame on the grill lighter fill my mouth with butane and ignite a fireball
The problem with never associating with your roommate is that you never know if they're dead in their room with the door closed or just gone for the weekend...I sprayed some febreeze just in case.
She kept telling the ambulance to sit down and then started crying when we told her it couldn't hear her
No, trust me. Falling down the stairs is a fucking sobering experience.
By the time the opening band finished, she was already slurring, coming on to the gay couple next to us, and waving her panties in the air.
If you call getting home safe by sprinting down Spanish Harlem barefoot still rolling then ya I made it
I'm gonna have to get you a special blowjob bib -- like a lobster bib -- but instead of a picture of a little red lobster, it will have a picture of a penis, with 3 big squirts coming out.
I have a bad feeling I'm going to like this fuck buddy
How have you never felt a dick as hard as mine?
Highlight your past hook-ups. You've been stabbed, shot at, run over, and chased down the road...no you can't bring new bar bitch over here!
Dude she has a friend!!!!
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