Just cropdusted the office
non applicator tampons are so hard to put in when your drunk. i fingered myself for 10 minutes and forgot what i was trying to do.
Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
I'm sorry for what I said earlier...your vagina wouldn't look funny If you had a kid.
She wasnt impressed wen i brought a guy for her back with me, a 3am impromptu sperm donor is not a gd birthday present. Im a bad gf.
I feel like death gave me a hand job
New Halloween costume idea: Frankenstorm. We have three hours. Make it work.
She's cute. And her snoring noises remind me of the incidental music from Jaws.
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
Only I could go on a date with one guy, have a beer with a different guy and go home with the guy im trying to avoid. I have a talent or a problem.
Just because you have put things in my vagina does not mean you know me
Plus he is a pilot so I could give him flight dome
He took some pill and now he's on all fours demanding we give him chips from the dog bowl. Come get him.
Theres just something about today that says lets get drunk, dont you think?
Randomize
