Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
Why do I always give away anal sex as birthday presents?
Shut up... one mans birthday cake is another mans sodomy my friend
just walked past a girl in her cap and gown puking her brains out beside a tree. her friends were taking pictures of her.
Well someone named our apartment "the eiffel tower" on facebook check-in so I think they know..
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
This makes me miss penis. Not in a horny way... but in a sad, sentimental way.
It took all the strength I had tto sit at my desk and not tear off my business attire and run screaming from adulthood and flourescent lights.
The neighbors outside are screaming at one another about God knows what and everyone is too scared to go outside and we NEEd more beer
one renamed every person in my phone 'I lpvw tewqils', so it would really help me out if you could text me your name. Happy sunday!
Not only did my parents pick me up from his hotel room in the morning, but he also came outside and had a casual little chat with my dad through the driver's side windrow.
Got stiff armed by the garbage man on the back of the truck...I just wanted to ride one block dude
Currently at a bar observing the mating patterns of drunken people in their 60s. This is hilariously terrifying. Hope he has Viagra.
P.s. I wore your shirt today and it has your blood all over it, but I am at a funeral home and they are using embalming fluid to get your blood stains out right now.
Is using La Croix as a mixer for vodka a legit way to reach my daily water consumption?
He lives in a tent in my ex'd backyard. Why the fuck would you want any of that dirty dick?
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