I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
I'm at derby!
The kentucky derby! But its night time, theres no way the horses are awake at this time.
you dont know how to answer ppls txts anymore?!?
im sorry, i don't get text messages.
Girl last night got so wet when I was going on down her it flooded up my nose. I nearly drown
I'm at my inlaws playing Scrabble. Go Fuck Yourself.
Tell me you remember me getting a tampon from the girl throwing up in the next stall
Of course, you get to fuck all night while I'm stuck in the girls bathroom sucking a limp dick for coke
I AM THE KING OF THE FRESHMEN
how did i know this would happen?
He's only going to be gone for two weeks
That's two months in gay whore years.
When you get home...find me in the shower. Only safe place at the moment.
... Cuz there's nothing like having your two male roommates catching you have a good cry in the driveway at 9am on a Wednesday.
sorry there isn't a 'perfect ass' emoji
he was making out with her against the stove and started a fire--the thirst literally almost burned the place down!!
We banged in my car doggy style with my head out the window. The sky was marvelous and I saw a shooting star. Its destiny; we're meant to fuck forever.
aloe plants are like gummy bears with an exoskeleton, but with healing powers instead of deliciousness.
are you on the drugs???
I dont know which is weirder.. the fact that i just watched our mom kick ass at beer pong and ride the pole like a true fire girl or the fact that ive never felt closer to her in my life.
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