Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
I asked him where the store BJ's was and he unzipped his pants.
You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
So i just got diagnosed with swine flu. im at walgreens looking like shit and this guy keeps staring at me. Im so gonna cough in his face.
well, dont
I didnt. i just coughed then looked at him menacingly. he got it.
well i fell out of the hot tub and tumbled down the hill and kicked a plant in the process.
Are you sighing at your phone and judging me right now?
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
Just me. You're probably having sex with her right now, so here's a reminder that you should be thinking of me per our agreement.
You know it's been a while when you're having to resort to positive conditioning to get women
I've already made the "blackout on move in day" decision
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
Also I've been at work for an hour and I've already been "honey"d "babe"d and "beautiful"d by three separate men. Apparently hungover with yesterdays make up looks good on me.
I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis.
He stopped mid-fuck to explain his choice in pillows. HE WAS STILL IN ME!
It finally happened. Some guy just tried to catfish me with my own dick pic. Of course I told him that it was the hottest dick I'd ever seen and that I would do anything for that particular dick.
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