I like you better when you drink
I like you better when I drink too
she called me screaming that i shouldn't ignore her phone calls, because she's not trying to get me to hang out with her and she doesn't want to be my girlfriend, she just wants sex.
what did you do?
i asked her out. that's so hot.
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
They had some plan b on the table between the beer and the guacamole. Yeah, it's gonna be a fun party.
How am I suppose to fully love you when you cant even open up and try to fulfill my midget fantasy
Got a thumbs up from a trucker for doing lines on the interstate. God bless america.
Day drunk and a can of soup and wine straight from the bottle and alone and on my kitchen floor.
I did a hand stand against the glass wall at Ziggy's with no panties on and got 3 phone numbers. Thank God I shaved this morning...
Well, that now makes it the 4th girlfriend in a row to cheat on me. I don't even care anymore...I'll date a prostitute and not even worry.
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
Pretty sure I just puked up sand. And nothing else.
I want this pizza in and around my mouth forever..
If magic marker is safe for kids, it should be safe for cats...right?
As planned I took it to the limit. Then we met a new limit. Now they are limit friends.
...and if you can get the necessary ingredients to make the Buffalo Chicken Melt, I will latch forever at your Teat of Justice.
Randomize
