I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt.
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
then you put baby powder on the bottom of your feet and walked to your room so "ladies would follow the footprints"
While you were puking in the ocean I was rubbing your back saying "Just give it back to Mother Earth".
Your ability to be a slut in your nightmare astounds me
remember, YOU ARE A WINNER
my dinner was a box of cheezits simultaneously mixed in with cocoa puffs and fried rice.
I was standing when I hit it. I barely made it to the couch before the walls started turning into people.
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
Is this the 6 foot tall blonde I screwed in the bar last weekend?
In the bar?! Very impressive! But keep guessing!
Just got hit on by a 50 year old Englishman who is now swapping drunken racing stories with my mom. Live Mariachi band in the background. How's that for a wake?
The doctor that gave me my std test is trying to hook me up with her daughter lol
You cannot meet up with him at the tailgate, his parents are there. What are you going to say "Hi I'm the one who fucks your son, can I get a cheeseburger?"
WAIT MOM THIS DOESNT NEED TO BE A FAMILY EVENT OK AARON DOESNT NEED TO BE AROUND FOR NIPPLEGATE 2014
My mind doesn't wanna day drink but my heart does.
He had a clap on lamp. So every time he was ramming into me, the lights kept turning on and off
Randomize
