Just spent the rest of my time at that bar trying to keep a probs underage closet gay from touching my kitten to prove he still likes girls.
Did you put 9lbs of birdseed all over my car?
You weighed it?
and in the morning, while we were eating breakfast, she was all " i think someone sneezed into my shirt..." she'll never know.
Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
I woke up to somebody tossing my salad... I should have drank more
I didnt realize how badly my legs were scratched up from power-fucking him in the bushes until kate dumped a bottle of vodka on me. that shit burnedddd
I asked her politely not to touch my dick
I am here to underwhelm you with my vagina
The Mole People would help. They are a kind, helpful people, the Mole People are.
Mole people?
Mole people
Look at the picture I MADE him take with me...like why??? He's holding my foot?
If I'm going to risk life and limb to wear a Wings jersey to the Garden next week, the least they can do is win.
And the most would be ending up in bed with one of them.
I'm tripping pretty hard right now but every time a Volvo drives by I feel like everything is gonna be alright
Used my brand new sperrys as a trash can to throw up in and woke up with someone's random key in my hair...new year new me:)
Tell me again why we had to Facebook stalk your therapist?
If I get really high and watch Beauty and The Beast on our Netflx account, will you judge me?
Only if you start before I get home!
Randomize
