billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
Do you ever just think "I could really go for a good 30 minute blowjob". I do. Everytime jill smiles.
How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
Something about a hand job in a car doesn't scream girlfriend
Walked in on my boss having phone sex at work... and somehow this didnt bother nor embaress him
Wanna hang out, and by hang out I mean go get plan B... and maybe lunch, but mostly plan b
Please, take the 2 shots of vodka that I left as an apologie.
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
Yeah, I've been trying to get him to eat healthier. Turns out he'll eat almost any fruit or vegetable as long I let him eat it off my body.
I don't need you anyway! I have puppies and booze!
Only thig bad about that muscular chick from the gym is she liked it so rough I had to bust out a few wrestling moves from highschool
Also... I'm unsure what to do with my face while someone is choking me during sex. Like I feel like its hard to look flattering.
I'm hoping you were seen by someone holding a frozen turkey at 230 in the morning
I can't believe I'm coordinating a threesome at work. My productivity is at an all time low.
Once upon a time I threw up in my own hands last night.
Randomize
