Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
I just mistook a monk for someone with the newest colored snuggie.
Is there a nice way of saying 'touch my penis or i dont really wanna hangout"?
They're having chugging contests. With juice. Please get me out of Utah.
okay I may or may not have wrapped my body pillow up in your t-shirt and sprayed it with your axe and am now spooning with it.
again? I'm starting to get a little creeped out now.
You hooked up with a kindergarten teacher?
Yea. It's kind of weird knowing that there are kindergarten teachers out there with their nipples pierced.
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
dude, you cant keep using "she roofied me" as an excuse to bang all these fat chicks
The ultimate Father's Day bonding experience: Both getting bailed out of jail by mom for mooning some shithead cop.
We fucked to showtunes. Never going out with a theatre major ever again.
My chest hair is, as we speak, arching upward to embrace my neck beard. The union will be a storied one.
YOU HAVE BEEN BAD TOUCHED BY THE LEPRECHAUN OF CHOICES
I’ve seen not one, but three Facebook articles on my feed today about “how to eat ass”. Idk what the universe is trying to tell me but it’s needs to chill
He said "I can't believe I had sex with a cat lady". Am I flattered or is this a new low?
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