She described it as "a squirrel being hit by a hurricane"
Hows this for an invention: a toilet that weighs your poop
I seriously need to stop naming my lingerie sets after the boys I wear them for. I seriously just asked mom if she put Brett in the dryer
but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
my ex just saw me in his brothers bed. fuck yes revenge feels good
how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
update: last drink of the night and im naked in my porch hammock. life is good.
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
You are number one in my heart. But in the dick Olympics you're disqualified.
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
Gay?
German.
Pity.
I blame everything on you. My broken heart, my fucked up liver and my twisted mind.
Did you know that chef boy-ar-dee was a real person? I watched a show about him. the history of the ravioli is more scandalous than you would think.
If one more person says Merry Christmas to me I’m going to take a pen out of my pocketbook and stab them in the eye
She really wants to put my dick in her mouth, and to be honest I really don't want to put it there.
Randomize
