Houston.. we have a drinking problem..
I like to think it a success when the cops are called
look, i may have sacrified a 20% assignment for a sprite. this is what hangovers do to me.
Had sex to a Lionel Richie song. I have a feeling I was conceived to it. Finally reached full circle.
If we were to wake in ur bed together, what are the 3 words you would say to me?
Get out now.
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
I love you. I'm too high for this. Find a way. Make it happen. Live strong.
Sorry I was drunk and left blood all over your back seat I was pretending to be in private Rayan and used your thong as a bandage
You wouldnt be able to explain the can of green beans in my mailbox, would you?
I an in a belgian bar and i cant understand shit. Trying to talk to strangers. Getting drunk until we all speak the same language. Brace for updates.
Leaving your birthday party to engage in a threesome IS allowed. I checked the rule book.
Apparently im getting a reputation for how i mix drinks. Im the midas of booze. Everything i touch turns to koolaid.
Tequila is gods way of telling you don't fuck with tequila
I started a USA chant at the bar last night for no reason, other than being plastered. Within 15 seconds, I was standing on a table and the whole bar was chanting but nobody knew why.
Act your age.
I am. I'm acting like a drunk 20 year old.
Randomize
