roommate just walked in on us. two and a half times. the half, she just knocked, sighed, and walked away.
So apparently when I roll on X I find 'dick ina box' not only hilarious but also sexually arousing.
you were on all fours yelling at the earth to stop spinning.
i am literally watching eva make a trashbag diaper for you to sleep in tonight. whole new level of low for you.
We are so drunk I just let him piss between my legs on the toilet. That's love.
Is it weird that out of everything, Im most worried about chipping a tooth on his prince albert?
So are you still down for me to come stay with you and just have sex on vicodin all weekend?
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We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
Well for decently drunk, in the woods, last-person-i-should-be-hooking-up-with sex, i thought it was pretty good.
I just tried to order ice cream on my bagel. I think I should just call it
The bartender has no bra and is giving out free shots. Call mom I'm getting married.
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.
I didn't know that all of his brothers would be hot and musical too. That's a dick move on behalf of biology.
Who the fuck stole my fridge again
We had sex on a couch that was held together by Velcro. Want to know an unsexy sound? Velcro ripping apart under your bare ass.
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