doug butabi!
steve butabi!
hotties wanna shake it
There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
haha I love it when I find out that girls who were mean to me in middle school are now some random dude's baby mama. thanks, facebook.
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
It involved anal and pop rocks. Tell me how that could have ended well.
Only you would get a date out of getting hit by a car
I can only send "I want your dick" texts to so many guys before I accidentally over-book myself. I need a day planner.
I have what looks like a rubber stamp mark on my cock from last night that says "Magic Marla Approved" Do we know a Marla?
I knew it was a bad night when the only thing I could remember was you force feeding me tortilla chips as I hugged the tire of my car and begged to have my stomach pumped.
I still have a little drunk in my system
This whole pope visit thing is ruining me having sex.
Also at one point I told him to say my name and it took him like 5 seconds to remember.
I just saw a cat, if i ate those mushrooms 15 minutes earlier i wouldn't have made it to the bar
we were clicking our heels together saying theres no place like home, while the cops were tellin us to call our parents and tell them what happened.
I hope no one at work can tell or smell that I have tequila in my hair and I haven't showered for days
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