Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
The only thing that makes me want to stop the affair is that I am the Monica Lewinksy in this triangle.
the campus cop used the word depravity in our citation.
Im in the bathtub drunk. Less than an hour before the interview. This will be the best or worst career move ever., support?
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
Used my phone to vibrate 'eye of the tiger'. It's like Rocky is punching my nuts, but gently.
Remember when you fed me goldfish while I was -inside- of someone?
Have bite marks on my arm where my temporary tat was Saturday night. Did someone try to bite Captain America or something?
One of the many mysteries surrounding the weekend...
I may or may not vaguely recall punching you in the dick but it was a misunderstanding and I forgive you can we have make up sex?
White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.
I stood in my living room with two beers in my hand asking these said beers if they were going to drink each other. I then insisted that I would drink them and chugged both. Happy Halloween.
What if for Halloween I paint my self gold and make sandwiches for everyone? I'd be a trophy wife! Get it?
i was in class looking for a pencil and found a chicken strip in my back pack. i think i might have a problem.. sad thing is i ate it
If he ever pulls my hair again, I'm going to conveniently have lock jaw. Then he can decide whether pain during sex is still fucking appealing.
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