wake up i wanna do it froggy style
apparently, it's not a good idea to make jokes about sending newborns through airport security xrays. the moms dont see the humor.
But why'd she put it on the conveyor then?
he just told me about his fetish for rubbing grape jelly on his penis.
i was out of cigarettes so i took the butts out of the ashtray, emptied them out, and proceeded to roll one big Frankenstein cigarette.
Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
Meanwhile I am sitting on the couch with a 32 ounce rum and coke trying to decide if I'm too drunk to go get french fries.
Did not foresee holding down food at work today to be a struggle today
yeah...that's gonna come up in court
Maybe I'll make your dreams come true and pee on you tomorrow.
Ok so I didn't mean for his first impression of me to be lying face down on his roommates bedrooms floor throwing up my jäger but it happened. Atleast my ass looked good in those jeans. Think I still have a shot?
well you don't shave your pubes into a handlebar mustache and keep the party to yourself
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
I can't go to the bars anymore. She wanted to see me again and I drunkenly told her I was moving today. If she spots me I'm fucked.
So do you guys remember Danny from Tinder?
Sorry I only remember personality traits, not names.
Randomize
