it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
The only downside so far to having a guy roommate is that when he's doing a walmart run, I just can't bring myself to ask him to pick up a pregnancy test for me. I feel like that's just too much too soon.
drunkie insisted on stuffing the rest of his scrambled eggs in his pockets before we left ihop. we really should have left a better tip
you sat in the middle of your kitchen floor feeding your dog blueberries one by one
She kept looking at me and saying "you are the scary high".
if I die on the way please explain to my mother that I do not wear fishnets on a regular basis
I found an HIV test/information brochure on the kitchen table and what i can only assume to be an "I'm sorry you might have AIDS" gift bag, complete with a candle and popcorn, and I haven't seen you in 36 hours. You good?
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
Well Its not like I planned having my potato launcher explode and burn off my eyebrow and eye lashes.. I still have my right eyebrow can't u just be happy?
I just googled, "how to do boob makeup" thats the kind of night I wanna have.
My liver is fucking rocky. Get knocked down 7 times and gets up 8. World champ
I can't believe you're forcing me to handle this hangover sober
Yeah he drove 30 minutes at 3 AM to come fuck me in my neighbors treehouse
dude it's 9am and i'm still drunk it's too early for sexting
You're not who I thought you were. You've changed.
Randomize
