Just had a conversation with Jon gosselin
Until you fuck him in front of his kids stop wasting my time with stupid texts.
They need to add a relationship status option on fb that says "having the baby of..."
We left around 4 AM after the stripper showed no mercy and dropped into a split on Matt's nose. Massive nosebleed.
When I woke up I had three missed calls from the name 'dream krystals'.... If I remember correctly she was the lady at the drive thru at Krystals and her name was Dream.. She wanted to come to the strip club with us... Do you remember?
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
This girl did not understand, once police sirens go on, road-head needs to STOP
He's cheating on his wife, and he's judging me for eating McDonalds
I'll never forget how blunt of a wingman you were. "Excuse me, my friend wants to makeout with someone"
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
No one should ever have to Neosporin their nipples. At least he apologized.
how many people can say they bit their tattoo off?
Trying not to look at her chest is like trying to not hear a fire engine racing by.
If my penis could make facial expressions, it would constantly have a smile on.
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
Randomize
