She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
you know it's bad when you need sunglasses to open the refrigerator
I bought you a small gift as a preemptive apology for being a drunken slut tonight.
I'm amazed your boyfriend is still with you, how do you manage to pee on him while he is holding you in his lap?
Unemployment check just came in. As soon as I stop pretending I have morals I'm buying weed. Puff puff pass uncle sam.
i just feel like the statute of limitations for admitting i plowed through her car last night was up a couple hours ago
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
The same guy who pierced my nipples just told me he can help tutor me in precalc.
I hate to stick you with the friend but I did all the work.
Seriously I can't get a booty call for some baked goods.
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
I managed to break 3 nails and loose my stockings, but I made 87 dollars at the strip club. I asked where I could find an application on the way out.
Is there a reason why your pubic hair is a plastic bag on my bathroom floor? And yes I know its yours... You wrote your name on the bag
I had a dream I hooked up with Post Malone. I can still smell the dream
I can’t tonight. I’ve got to see about a penis
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