Emee failed...She used my genitals as a tampon
the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
do girls know yet that the best boners are in the morning?
It was a rude awakening when I turned on my phone and the first thing I saw was a picture of David's dick with a face on it, I need to stop drinking in his basement...
Tell me why I keep soberly hesitating to go pee in fear of breaking the seal. Thank you college.
He threw up in the campfire, the alcohol in his puke caught on fire. Im marrying this man
Who would have guessed that her hair would be so flammable
Cracked my iPhone screen. Real bad. Girl from last night isn't ugly yet. Stop me if you still think she belongs under a bridge. You have 12 seconds.
I think I want to impress his gay best friend more than him..
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
I just sold my hat for three car bombs. I call that a win.
The guy next to me just said he wont play beer pong on principle. Im scared.
Maybe she'll change her mind but the "go fuck yourself" doesn't seem promising
Everyone is coupling up and I'm just excited the bartender gives me enough attention to order more shots.
Something must have happened, they started yelling truffle butter and you said we needed to leave NOW
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