I will die if light touches me.
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
I'm challenging a 70 yr old alcoholic woman who is half my size tonight. Wish me luck
When I ask you to make sure no ones coming while I'm changing.. The logical friend would keep watch. But you my, best friend come stand in front of me and flash everybody.
Is it some european holiday today? We both woke up to find loaves of bread in our rooms...
The thumbs up barstamp on my hand is mocking my hangover with its positivity.
SORRY! Pervert came out for a bit. BAD PERVERT! BACK IN YOUR HOME!
CAN I EVER JUST MAKE OUT EITH SOMEONE AND NOT GET FRIEND REQUESTED BY THEM THE NEXT DAY.
It is unclear if my flaming esophagus is hangover induced.
Man, you got so high you own goaled yourself in FIFA then got up celebrating.
I need to just embrace dildos and cats and call it a life.
It's only ok to pee out the window in the afternoon when you're drunk.
last night i fell off a barstool and busted my nose. i can regretfully say that i didn't see cherub last night.
Stay home. Ain't nothing out in these mean streets but plan b and regret
when you come over can you bring tequila and my birth control? Thanks girl!
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