3 deer just ran past us on the street. At least I get to see some tail tonight
My nipple is on Facebook.
id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?
The only bad thing about this relationship... my forearm strength is dwindling
If Megan asks I spilled my water water all over her. I pissed on your roommate. You're welcome. I expect you to keep that on the down low. Seriously tell her the water thing
I've done nothing but whore my gay ex bf out for the past 48 hours. It's getting weird.
I will come to your office dressed as a bloody mary, hug you then leave is that a good plan?
yes. bring a barf bucket too. just. in. case.
Saw a guy throw up on himself while walking, drinking, and singing all at the same time. Hope your night is going better than his :)
He wouldn't let me put a red handprint on his face or scream to him everytime he walked away.
Why did you want to do any of that?
If someones last name is Wilson, you are obligated to pretend that you are Tom Hanks and they are a Volleyball and quote the movie when you speak to them.
I'm full of champagne and rage, of course I'm showing up at his house.
I spent $31 at mcdonalds last night. Threw my nuggets all over the yard, ate them out of the snow, picked a fight about it, vomited, then passed out.
Naked.
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
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