Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
literally every day that goes by where he doesn't talk to me makes me more determined to get him to have sex with me
my roomates packed me a lunch. it had bread, cheesewiz, a can of refried beans and a condom with a note that said "good luck on your first day". im not even gonna pretend to be mad.
i can now proudly say that ive peed off of a balcony overlooking the pacific ocean AND a balcony overlooking the atlantic ocean
I used puppy pads next to the couch for her to throw up on....
Tipped our cab with a photo booth pic of us, a paper dollar, a dollar in quarters, a crest white strip. And a tanning pass valid in boston
raced the clock twice to day to see if i could get off before my computer died and before i left for my noon bar crawl... win, win
lets go back to having secrets in our friendship
Drinking franzia alone at noon watching a cheese themed episode of "The Chew" I'm ready to admit I need a job.
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
He was wearing a tux and a big sombrero so it automatically made the flute he was playing totally cool
i knew as soon as i met you that i was gonna be the designated driver
Oh by "being festive" I mean make tacos for dinner.
You fell asleep standing up against the shower wall
But I did discover that he's totally okay with going down on me while I eat taco bell so that's a plus, right?
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
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