It was like a secret agent hookup. No names, swift execution, get in- get out.
Her boobs looked like leather oven mitts. No more cougar hunting for awhile.
im pretty sure while i was fucking her my dog was fucking her dog too
Hillary is trying to make pickle pops with vodka and sell them to kids at the ball park.
got my wristband ripped off, was told i can only be served water. please find me, i'll be running through the fountain
I have to remind myself to breathe. That hungover.
dude, my hangover is telling me there was tequila involved
Well I took a spicy wing shit in a field this morning.
My ex came over to hook up...then I went on a date 2 hours later and got a bj. Single: Finally doing it right.
Let's hurry up so I can puke at home instead of my van
yup and then I snapped out of it and realized I was playing beer pong against a 4 year old... and losing
So, got kind of drunk last night, made out with some guy, and somehow stole his credit card. Don't even know.
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
We had an argument over whether or not she had super strength. She settled it by dragging me to the bed room and throwing me on the bed. Then forcefully fucking me. She won the argument.
fucked one of the teachers, librarian job's going great
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