you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
Why am I getting the stink eye from these people? They're acting like BYOB isn't kosher in a laundromat.
I just saw an old lady yelling at a dead pigeon for leaving the oven on.
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
dude, you cant keep using "she roofied me" as an excuse to bang all these fat chicks
told weddin planner we wanted to work in ceremonial body shots before vows. she hasnt reponded yet...
My life now consists of 2 time frames. BV before vibrator and AD after death of my sex life.
Out of all the people in the house to show their tits at mcdonalds to try and get free food, they picked those two?
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
It was a fight. Me vs nature and drunkenness. And nature won. Big time.
He gave me twenty cool ranch tacos and declared, drunk, " Look, I do good"
Thank god he came over. I had to have some good sex to makeup for all the bad sex I've been having.
They found me wandering around campus screaming body shots over and over again wrapped in a curtain
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
Ben Franklin would totally be a furry.
You're smoking weed and checking Tumblr I take it?
Randomize
