I seriously can't date anymore I forgot how to hide my crazy
Last night started off great but became the saddest day of my life when i was drunk in a hotel room eating day old mac and cheese out of a yatzee cup with a coffee lid as a spoon...
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
I've spent the last ten minutes rubbing glue sticks on the wall
There is a full size piano in the middle of our road. Please tell me you had nothing to do with this.
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
She said I told her "I'm to drunk to take your bra off." then she said I walked out completely naked to go watch tv.
He called me on my way to the bathroom and told me he wanted to hear me pee my beers out... That. Drunk.
I thought he was being really sweet and protective when he pulled me away from the guy i was hooking up with, but turns out he just wanted me to get chicken nuggets with him...
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
I woke up naked in her room. More precisely, I woke up naked in her room with her and her sister laughing at my penis. I hate my life.
That's so awful of me. Instead of comforting her I masturbated in front of my ex-boyfriend.
Tonight I learned to never try to impress your ex by dancing on the stripper pole while drunk. That’s how you end up in the ER
Got lost on the way to my dealer again. He stayed on the phone with me untill i found him and then hooked it up because I got lost.. What a genuine person.
Randomize
