there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
hah yeah. there was a kid puking in the bathroom and this idiot brings in a potted plant and was like "yeah he's like, not getting enough oxygen"
The more my room-mate speaks, the more I notice that she was home schooled.
Umm you don't wanna know how many "I'm sorry for calling you last night" fb wallposts I just had to write...
It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls.
You wouldn't let me clean the puke off your face because I'd mess up your cat whiskers. Now that's dedication.
Broke up w/ my married coworker...work is gonna get weird.
I just saw her shopping list. The only things on it are blackberries, hot fudge and condoms. I almost don't wanna know. Almost.
i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
Driving by his house every hour is not stalking, it's a reconnaissance mission... How else can I confront him
But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
My manager said you offered to make out with him to ensure I keep my job if I didn't show up to work today
coming down from speed on a 5 hour flight home from vegas is not a valid reason for calling off work the next day
so i said i had a yeast infection
We had sex on a couch that was held together by Velcro. Want to know an unsexy sound? Velcro ripping apart under your bare ass.
In the words of Disney’s Jafar, “desperate times call for desperate measures.”
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