i left the bar a little after you and ended up flipping my car in the arbys drive thru
On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
i just cleaned out my toilet because i knew that my head would be in it later
i'm pretty sure i lost all sex appeal when he caught me peeing in his bushes
Alone. In an inflatable pool. Drinking vodka and raspberry lemonade. I don't need approval as much as I need to know you love me still.
He grabbed every salt shaker in the apartment and we haven't seen him since. He really really doesn't want to shovel snow anymore.
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
He told me he wanted to sleep but I touched his penis and listened to his heart beat start racing. I knew sleeping was bullshit.
Use your nursing skills for good, not evil.
Great. Now I have to produce, edit and leak a sex tape before Saturday. Fundraising is hard.
barely 48 hours and I've done the dirty on both of my roommates beds before they've even slept in them
Well, she yelled at the stripper that she couldn't lick whipped cream off his nipples because she is lactose intolerant.
Please come over. It's a pajama and burn-2016-in-effigy party
He has fairy lights round his bed.. And played Jamie cullum when we had sex... Hes batting for the other team right?
Drank vodka clubs for 6 hours last night. Holy shit just realized that.
She drank my rum. I had sex in her bed and didn't wash the sheets. We're even.
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