She's just bitter because she lost all the weight only to discover she doesn't have a pretty face after all.
guys are only as good as the porn they watch
I swallowed your vile semen and you don't know what color my fucking eyes are!?
There's a sucker born every minute but swallowers are harder to find.
So glad I found your sister.
So I just googled the ten commandments... Were fucked.
I just realized there's an entire generation of children that will never know Alex Trebek had a mustache... Sad.
You weren't a difficult drunk to take care of. I just had to stop you from plunging the toilet once or twice.
He just referred to his foreskin as a snuggie. Help.
Don't use the things I tell you while drunk after the bruins won the cup against me
We're gonna take a moment of silence to pray... that his penis is as pretty and as talented as his brothers.
I just got woken up by some Christians who wanted to talk about the bible. ways to make a hangover even worse for a thousand trebek
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
I don't know anybody that can get the cops to drive them back to the bar after being pulled out of a tree
it happenes
Like actually I will be single and sad and lonely for ever. Cheese will be my life partner. Robot sex is my future.
I'm gonna go parent style on your ass... I don't ask much from you but if you could please just come get shitfaced with me I would really appreciate it
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