Nothing kills the mood more than a jesus song.
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
My professor complimented me on the well drawn penis on my face then asked if I would like a seat closer to the garbage can.
What's that word that means bigger and smaller and bigger and smaller, again?
Goddamn it, Jaime, it's 4am. Throbbing. The word is throbbing.
I did the mature thing and subtweeted that bitch. She follows me so she'll see.
If he's the sort of guy that will fuck in a public restroom, he's the sort of guy that will cheat on his gf. I'm goin for it.
Now I don't feel so bad about telling everyone that he's 23 and needs Viagra. It's her problem now
My cat was watching porn with me. Weirdest bonding experience ever.
Well. I went to a frat party where they mixed gin and Mountain Dew. My kingdom for some olives and vermouth.
The lady at the Humaine Society gave me her nephew's number because I seem like a loving and caring person.
Does she know that each time you've adopted a new cat in the past year it's because some guy stopped fucking you and you don't want to eat your feelings?
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
You know you need to get it together when a frat guy wakes you up and says you need to go to class
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
Can I say it was a great night out of town? Fucking my co-worker in the hotel bed while my best friend is fucking his friend on the floor and a random guy is laying in the other bed meanwhile we are all passing a joint back and forth
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