you tried to clear everyones facebook status so that yours would be the only one on everyones home page
Well, I guess this was as good a night as any to find out I don't know how to use my fire extinguisher.
Either he was jacking off or having a seizure next to me in bed. Either way, I was too lazy to help.
And then. You beer bonged 3 tall boys. In a row. Fell into some kids lap. And pulled down my shirt trying to get up. Thank you for that. I got laid
She's going to get preggers, drop out of school, and end up working at mcdonalds. Great for our mcdoubles habit but bad for her future.
You peed on someone's house because they had a Wisconsin flag.
He's not letting me leave till I cum. I am a hostage to my own vagina
"YOU A2TE UNDERAGE LOL" Got that at 2am. Gotta stop dating alcoholics.
I got my eyebrow ring humped out. How is that even possible?
Being able to fart in my own house is like 90% of why I pay rent
she and her cat are both sick as fuck so they just sat there looking at each other with her nose dripping on the cat's. both out of fucks
Only you would get a side of potential vagina with your sandwich
You guys go ahead and have your romantic night. I'm gonna keep my vday tradition alive of angry banging a stranger.
I’m going to try to be less of a cryptic bitch this week. Should be nice.
I woke up in a limo in long Island, Ny this morning. Talk about a black out
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