3:47a: I take it you're not on your way over
there was a trapeze. enough said
he stole me 6 pairs of frilly undies and proclaimed "your ass looks like a 5 in those. it'll be a 10 in these bad boys". every girl needs a gay bff.
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
how do I tell him nicely and in french that we can't have sex anymore because his huge penis will ruin me for other french men?
I started to trust fall random people on the dance floor
No. No. And hell no. If you are driving a Honda Fit you are not allowed to give me a dirty look. No.
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
I am so excited I do not know how I will sleep.
It's like the Christmas morning of dicks
Im at that shitty point in my day where I start planning night activities while finger dipping vyvance off of my desk, you got any plans?
I've never had sex with me but I assume there are worse ways to be woken up.
Discovery: there is a folder in my pictures labeled "Your Name and cats"
Can I trade you chipotle for a pregnancy test?
You just missed an honest to god bukkake
SUFFER THE WRATH OF THE PISS BAG
Randomize
