Did you go home with that guy without me?
Sorry boo - it's pouring and I found a boy with a car
Rosebud was a fucking sled. Gay.
shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
I walked in on him cutting a hole in the condom.
my sombrero is too big for the bathroom
Three things I need a picture of: your friend, your bong, and your dick.
on the subway to an interview & there's a dude doing whippits out of a cheese wil can
I think I found out what we're going be for Halloween....Alcohol poisoning victims.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
I never thought the most recent texts on my phone would be with ASAP ferg and my ex...
sex on a roof was cool and all but that superhero argument was the best part of the night hands down
I sharted in my christmas pjs :(
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
I had to ask my mom to look for my kegle ball...
Jack and I got in a huge fight at 6am. He fell asleep when I was giving him head so I freaked. We were both black out so I made a memo in my phone reminding me
Randomize
