Funny, my mom didn't get it when I said 'that's what she said' after she said 'it's so thick, it's impossible' in reference to my milkshake
Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
while you've been gone this has kinda turned into some sort of fivesome-type thing. just thought i should warn you for when you get back
It was only 12:11 and I needed to make a Pepto Latte and call it a night, I don't remember that being part of my new years resolution.
im failing my bio class b/c he booty calls me wednesday nights at 6 like clockwork
Dad's drunk, trying to hook me up with a 43yo, and keeps saying one and done. Mom is on the verge of tears and disowning us. You missed a good birthday dinner.
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
Your 13 year old niece and her best friend half carried you from the beach to the pool where you then clung onto a raft and screamed about having pretty hair.
should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know?
cool, get new shit, I dnt want the same old if it's my last drink ever
The world isn't ending you idiot. I'll grab beer
For Halloween this year I'm going to paint myself in gold, wear a golden toga and sash saying " cunt goddess"
Fucked her on the patio while some dude drove by on a mower. He waved. Twice.
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
Randomize
