I had a dream last night that we were eating cake at Mercy...hahaha. I'm furious I didn't see you.
Next weekend I am getting a library card and staying my whore ass home.
you pissed in a zip-loc bag and wanted 60 dollars for it
Thanks for the menagerie of condoms on my desk
It's the use of SAT words like that which make me want to use them on you
So the next morning, she had to tell her kids we were moving furniture around all night.
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
Apparently I promised a worker at La Siesta free English lessons to make up for vomming all over the little Mariachi band.
It's like being the dunk pilot of a plane full of pornstars and drunkenness.
dont iron anything. we fucked on the ironing board. details to follow.
FALSE ALARM! I didn't piss myself, I fell asleep in the shower and then drunkingly crawled into my bed
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
at one point while they were drilling into my jaw I just remember thinking "will I ever be able to suck dick again"
Not gonna lie: had to look up how to spell fellatio. Not sure I spelled it right even now. Looks like a Shakespearean character. ENTER FELLATIO, SOLILOQUIZING.
Dude, I woke up with wet dollar bills in my boxers where did you take me???
I'm so hungry and so lazy that I'm seriously considering ripping into that packet of cream cheese in my nightstand.
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