Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
Uh i was pretty wasted sat, so if i was weird it wasnt me. It was just vodka bein weird w my phone
Tonite tequila might call you
Be prepared
like what am i supposed to say "im thinking of how bad that sex was"?
i knew it was time to break up with him once he pulled out the Halo foreplay costumes
Getting pregnant off pre-cum is like getting high off erasers
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
I walked into his room and he was naked with a half eaten pecan pie and a bottle of wine.
If I threw up, how do I still have the same piece of gum in my mouth from the beginning of the night?
I mean, I know they're ugly, but I cant turn down a birthday threesome.
He told me he wanted to sober fuck the shit outa me... I took that as a compliment
I almost got on a bus to Langley Air Force Base. 99% sure that's not where I wanna be.
Happy Halloween!! Last Halloween we spent together you got brought home in a shopping cart
I dunno about you, but I consider getting eaten out on the porch of a houseboat in -30c in a bridesmaids dress a northern right of passage
Randomize
