I can mark tailgating, going to the game and getting road head off my to do list today
How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
the only thing he could say in english were 'insert coin here' and 'game over'. i love spanish men.
First date. He's wearing a tuxedo shirt and keeps asking me about our future children. Escape plan #3 is now in action...
Dude they are all farmers and I'm pretty sure there's a prostitute here.
And I'm supposed to be surprised that you got another concussion?
This morning is cloudy with a high chance of vomiting all over the dentist. Stay tuned for further updates.
He bought me Ben & Jerrys and then apologized for the fact that he was going to fall asleep before we could have sex
Going to a professional golf course at 2am to throw the flag poles like javelins
I didnt want you guys to know I needed to puke, so I just nonchalantly did in my solo cup and threw it out the window
He called me piss drunk at 7:30pm while cooking bacon and said he was going to bed. I don't think he's taking it well.
Still trying to figure out where I was when someone broke the lawn chair and put it in the bathroom.
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
Something like; Dear Cupid, when are you going to send me someone to date that isn't a complete psychopath
If waffles and beer don't scream "fuck me!" then I don't know what else to do.
Randomize
