I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
oh man. maybe i should puke on his dick? just to test how much he loves me?
if you're passed out when i get there i get to wear your banana costume and do awful things to you
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
You were throwing up and said, "Whipe my face, I must look presentable at all times."
Strangers are buying me shots and I got hit on by lesbians. How is it only tuesday
May or may not have just put tequila in my special "kids+" orange juice fortified with vitamins a, b, c, d, e, and now t.
I may or may not have just let Ash Ketchum capture my wild Pikachu in a parking lot.
If you walk into a place and someone says "happy birthday" while handing you a shot. You. Take. It.
unless you want this visit to have a different tone... more romantic, less molly in a hotel room
Thanks again for the coffee and orgasms
But like, I don't remember getting hit with the door... I just come out from peeing and there was blood running down my face.
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
I'm gonna ask his dad. Weed trumps broken heart any day.
I know he’s married, but he’s still a guy with balls and a dick. He noticed my cleavage and stared at my ass. He’ll call.
Randomize
