i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
Some 6 yr old girl just got on my plane in St. Louis. She was wearing an I Love Canada shirt. She eyed the seat next to me and I stared her straight in the eyes and shook my head. Fuck her. Fuck canada.
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
I guess I gave him a 20 minute play-by-play of the first three sections of R. Kelly's 'trapped in a closet.'
And then he proceeded to take my heartbeat, because apparently that tells him whether I was faking or not...
IM PICKING UP BLOW FOR US STOP WHINING ABOUT SEX
What has two arms, one testicle and no credit card debt? This guy.
Getting stoned at work has never been a good idea, but im always more than willing to give it another chance
WHO THE FUCK TAGS THEMSELVES AT COUNTY JAIL?!?!
Step 1: chug a red bull vodka with no ice Step 2: chase that with a shot of wild turkey Step 3: chase that with a shot of tequila
Step 4: your drunk
hes that one kid that offered to spoon after staring at me for 5 minutes
I woke up naked next to my hot manager. Left before she woke up, and worked an entire shift with her. She has no idea.
we used a blowdryer last night to warm up our left over pizza..it worked perfectly at first..but then the chili powder got into his eyes..
Nothing quite like spending your evening singing Shania Twain I Feel Like a Woman barbershop quartet Style with some homeless guys outside of Keyport liquor. love Shania Twain. How's your Sunday?
I apparently sent an offer letter to, and then subsequently onboarded, the wrong candidate. How's your Monday?
Randomize
