You ever start fucking a girl and realize she kinda looks like your mom?
Tall, dark & handsome can suck my short, pale & awkward dick.
omg i finished an entire carton of double double chunk chunk ice cream last night...
what? what exactly is in double double chunk chunk?
self-loathing.
new low.... made out with someone while peeing
I'm on the bus and the homeless person in the seat to my left is jacking off to a cartoon picture he found. He's now cleaning up with mitten I dropped.
she said she likes her vagina punished
being with you and your tiny dick is punishment enough
So you really have to stop introducing me to girls and afterwards saying "he has his dick pierced" let them find out for themselves
There's nothing like puking in the airport on the way TO Vegas. Something tells me i pregamed a little too hard.
Bitches at mcdonalds acting like they never seen a girl puke in her own coat pocket before
They just built a gym in the same parking lot as my favorite bar. Drunk me is gonna be so excited.
You know, part of me wants to die and the other part of me doesn't want to live
He just kept mumbling that he was too drunk for society and then he peed in a bush
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
Can I just fuck someone without it basically becoming an arranged marriage
Is it bad I have to get shitty ass drunk on a Monday night because I can't adult?
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