i was rollin on her like bob the builder
is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
he just sent me a friend request on facebook. i wish it were physically possible to vomit on him through the internet.
I just spent the last 30 minutes shaving my asshole.
After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
I just got three quarters of the way there before I realized I was way too stoned for class so I bought a smoothie and walked home.
on the list of things id be doing when i was almost 30, waiting for a girl to finish shitting the bed wasn't on there.
just gave a yankee's fan wrong directions to Fenway....welcome to boston asshole
Getting stoned and going to costco. If i'm not back by dawn, you know what to do.
apparently breaking a beer bottle and then throwing up in a urinal is a terrible way to pick up girls.
As long as you're not dating white guys again.
I was walking out the front door and heard his roomate say "It looks like you need a chiropractor." I think my work here is done.
Didn't want to waste the cheese dust from the white cheddar popcorn, so I gave him a handjob, followed by the most delicious blowjob ever. Win-win.
who sends a dick pic at 3 am on a sunday honestly
seriously. and now it'll take him hours to clean up the glitter
CALL ME OLD FASHIONED BUT PEE IS FOR TOILETS
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