I jsut got pulled over and passed the sobritaty test.
Good thing spelling doesn't count.
I'm wearing this super skanky ass dress that's wayyy to slutty for church but I think Jesus will appreciate it because i look so bangin for his bday.
Who would have thought the night we were surrounded by 4 cops would be the most responsible night of the week.
I'm at work, still drunk. Can you turn on the radio? If the station goes off the air I passed out. Can't get fired. Haven't slept yet.
It's amazing the difference a day and 2000 mg of antibiotic make. Nine days to go.
btw im using a cooler as a purse cause i love string cheese
The night was going well until I found tufts of my hair in the freezer. Then I got nervous
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
My mom asked me if I ever go on dates. I had to suppress the urge to ask if having casual sex with a freshmen counts as dating
Found my ex-boyfriend's money stash. Call the girls, we are getting fucked up tonight, my treat.
it will be just like last year but no clogged toilets and more costumes.
I might have been the first person in 2015 to throw up on a yellow cab before climbing in it.
woke up on my floor using my jeans i wore out as a pillow
haha i wouldn't expect any less of you
You know it was a good dinner party when one of the guests broke their finger and no one can remember how it happened.
Quick question: now that you've broken up, should I also delete the nudes your boyfriend sent me while you were together??
Randomize
