Did I ever tell you that the first person i made out with cried?
i need a wealthy benefactor or a cocktail job. or to start stripping. or kill myself. whatever.
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
I need the number of a restaurant that delivers, has lock-picking abilities, and is okay with full frontal male nudity. Entirely too hungover to get out of bed.
Just got complimented on my chugging... Car bombs show how good I am at swallowing, they should be my new pickup line.
thats because you have standards... and i have a thing for guys that give me free drugs.
My entire summer has consisted of being too drunk for this shit, too sober for this shit, or too hungover for this shit.
I was just informed that I have the perfect belly button for body shots... Best compliment ever.
I faked more orgasms with him then ever should be allowed for someone this pretty.
This morning I found four opened yet full beers on my desk and my towel rack pulled off the wall and in bed with me
Hyyypothetically, what would you do if you happened to see my boobs on the internet?
I just slammed a bottle of white wine before I came to Whole Foods so basically I'm just training to be a middle aged white woman.
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
He was a Cher impersonator. They are the draggest of queens
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