Last night I broke through a door, was hospitialized, arrested, and threw my shoe at a bouncer. This summer is gonna be fuckin sick.
Left my ID again and at a Giant's game. This is the second time they accepted my handgun safety certificate as proof of ID to buy beer.
Idk man, it felt like my skin was a suit and I could feel it zipping up my side and up to my mouth. And then my head felt like a ventriloquist dummy's head, with the jaw thing..it was freaky, dude
You think that's a metaphor for anything, champ?
Shut the hell up.
All I need in life is some dick and a big mac.
We woke up under the ping pong table holding hands.
I was talking to a guy at my work, and mid-sentence he started vomiting violently for about five minutes, then he said, " great dope" and carried on like nothing had happened.
There's a stoned dwarf chilling in the basement here. Maybe there are redeemable qualities about this place.
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
One of the guys I danced with wanted to give me his number so I convinced him I had a photographic memory and that I would remember it.
Almost to work. And still feel hungover. Like my body is trying to regenerate after dying. Full on zombie shit. But like, one of those zombies from warm bodies that comes back to life slowly.
Boss out of town. Had 2 beers for lunch, a long walk and a bowl...and then in he comes. Blamed obvious intoxication on my pain meds. Back at the bar. This is one of those bad judgement days.
Please call us Steph is okay but missing phone wallet tooth
PS I almost downloaded grindr to see if any guys wanted to buy me chinese food..
Blame the bisexuality and move on?
I have to stay away from bourbon. Despite what it keeps telling me, it is NOT my friend.
Randomize
