Bro, I met the coolest hottest chick tonight and she has the hottest friends.
Where are you?
Strip Club
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
We don't have a ruler. Come downstairs and lay in the snow with a boner so we can see how much snow we've gotten. Put your 8 inches to a less shameful use.
And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab
just made one giant jello shot... if i have to study on a saturday night, i'm gonna do it as drunk as possible
If i want her back i know all i have to do is sleep with a specific handful of her closest friends. That method is tried and true.
So on a scale of 1 to Friendship-Over, how mad would you be if a rando I brought home sharted on the shag carpet in the living room?
One day her vagina is just going to shrivel up and seal itself with it's self preservation mechanism
For our final psych experiment, we're conditioning Tim to hump the nearest inanimate object and/or person every time he hears a Ke$ha song
I'm already too high to be publicly presentable. I just looked at myself in the mirror without my sunglasses. Debated contacts. Said aloud "But I'm nothing without my sunglasses."
There's times when I need to be plowed... and I'm ashamed to admit auto correct was able to predict that entire sentence.
I don't want anything calamari shaped after last night. But I appreciate the Cheerios offer.
I should probably stop recommending my dentist to the different guys I'm seeing. That could be awkward in the future.
Besides, I'm booked tomorrow. I'm planning on drinking heavily and crying in the bath.
Randomize
