I would wrestle an alligator for a bj right now
There is no way he is gay with that hair.
Drunken horseback riding is the absolute worst decision i've ever made in my life.
I fell alseep but then some dude picked me up. Comforter and all stuck a blunt in my mouth and carried me back downstairs because "I wasn't done partying"
You stuck your entire fist into a full jar of peanut butter and starting assaulting people
He bought segways. We ride them when we get drunk. Last night he ran through the sliding glass door.
I woke up in an apt hallway this morning and a nice lady brought me coffee cause she thought I was homeless
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
Blow job season was short but glorious.
The old guy next door tried to get me to go to his apartment for shots formoonshine. =-0
If that weren't so sketchy I would encourage it
Yeah it was almost as sketchy as a white panel van pulling up offering candy
Did you leave it the depths of Magic Mike's favorite banana hammock?
i told them you weren't like that.. and they laughed at me?
She woke up, mumbled "the trees" When i asked her what about them, she yelled "WE NEED THEM FOR OXYGEN," Then went back to sleep.
We need to get on her level.
I just want to get high and watch Dr. Pimple Popper.
Randomize
