Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
I totes stole your whore crown.
With great power comes great responsibility.
her vagina probably looks like a grenade went off in a deli
Well, we missed our public lewdness court date. Looks like were going to jail in Alabama ...
we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
at the hospital. he locked himself in the kitchen, said he was making beer batter shrimp. don't know if it's the mercury poisoning, alcohol poisoning or second degree burns they're holding him for, but i've got a pretty guess.
Hey, did you take me to hospital last night?
You were shirtless with a cowboy hat in 15 degree weather then u shotgunned a can of mixed vegetable Progresso soup
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
She's drinking vodka out of a windex bottle. She is spraying it in her mouth and at strangers.
Yours weakened by children. Mine weakened by a forearm sized cock for 8 years.
i'm pretty sure you can't sue someone for "Taking a shit on my kitchen floor."
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
Note to self: dont wear a butt plug for several hours and then go gym and try and do squats
I feel like he doesn't realize we're offering him a threeway with sisters and I don't understand how that's possible.
Maybe we should bring mom next time.
Randomize
