the drag queen on stage looks like shes wearing the EXACT same dress i wore 2 senior prom.
Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
He wrote my name on his dick, took a picture and then said "this has your name written all over it!"
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
bring the vodka.
i thought we were going to mcdonalds..?
we are.
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
Pregnant only lasts nine months, being hot takes way longer to go away. So yes, I will continue to hit on the hot pregnant girl.
Well my friend Jon slept on the couch and I slept next to my cooked lean pocket on the carpet
I look like shit btw. Like the joker from Batman.
I'm not sure how that's possible unless you put on face paint. Which I would respect.
You came into my room and started rubbing a banana on your face.
I'm on tinder and every time somebody says something too creepy for me I start quoting scripture at them. My boobs are like missionaries.
It's not too terrible. You just got a little naked and broke your arm.
What are the chances I get my period 2 weeks early just as welcome week starts. My uterus is conspiring with my dead catholic grandma
i think if a sober person was watching us they would have not thought we were witty
Randomize
