I showed remarkable dignity in such a compromising situation. Except I came off as sort of a blue ball giver.
we knew you were done when they played It's All Coming Back To Me Now by Celine Dion and you started crying
New high score, I made the stripper choke me while I was getting a lap dance last night
Let us do this. Tomorrow night is thirsty Thursday. Let us drink whiskey from the bottle and have men in plastic gloves inscribe permanent images of each others faces onto our buttocks.
I think a van full of parolees just blew me kisses. Thoughts?
OPIZZABONMYDICK
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
I have vodka and a slip n slide so of you could come over that would be great
Turns out floaties are a great thing after a couple bottles of vodka
I tried to take home a cat on broadway last night. I named him Pinocchio and put my purse down on the sidewalk and tried to put it inside it
I just want the relationship Bob and Linda Belcher have- is that too much to ask?!
Good friends chat about sex - great friends ask about safe words.
I even put my vibrators back in the bedroom instead of the coffee table. If that's not growing up then I don't know what is.
Well, for starters, you were growling and slurping beer from a puddle on the carpet. Let's all hope that was beer...
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
Randomize
