Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
I would go down on you faster than GM stock
as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
Change of plans. Theres a bouncy castle setup in my apartment complex.
when you wake up in a apartment hallway wearing someone else's shoes, you can pretty much assume last night was a success.
I'm watching him slurp a whole mango out of her hand. It's disturbingly arousing.
I just made an agreement with this milf to shoot her daughters wedding in exchange for blow jobs. Going pro was the best choice I ever made.
Send me another check for the tickets. I scratched out "anal wax" and now the bank won't take it.
You climbed out your own window and walked in the front door..
I had sex on a sidewalk in downtown Chicago... I don't think I have anymore morals to lose.
By far the fardest thing to do drunk is open a band aid
I wish you could just Google "people I've had sex with" and they would all just come up
She's nice. But even when I am with her I am thinking of her mom, literally the hottest woman on earth.
At Target. Everyone is stocking up on food and flashlights for this storm. I stocked up on beer. Dont judge me, it was on sale...
Randomize
