Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
You are in charge of making sure that her vagina explodes with joy tonight.
It's so hard to find a shirt to wear out that is easily taken off, cut off my paramedics, but says "I'm a grown, respected woman"
WHY DO YOU ALWAYS PUT THE PLUG IN THE SINK BEFORE YOU PUKE IN IT
Ive only seen a dude masterbate on a train twice, once on the Jtrain and once on the Ftrain... trust me you never wanna see where the subway turns around.
Just thought i'd let you guys know that my dad was roofied at a lesbian bar last night...
well, I was going to forgive her anyway but not because shes my best friend and moreso because shes my drug dealer
She rode an inflatable shark down the stairs. Viva shark week.
Somehow those two combined like captain planet and shit went haywire
We were supposed to hurry because the restaurant closed at 9. I ended up giving him a blow job so we had to eat at Arby's instead.
I'm a dude in a dress, who came to a party with Holly GoLightly, got hit on by Bambi's mom, and wants to do terrible things to Link. Halloween is weird
He smells like sex and magic. I’m already naming our children
Maybe you should talk to him first
I think/hope James is drunk. He's standing in the front lawn loudly declaring "I AM a popsicle!" Over and over....
Someone made a Christmas song to the Flintstones theme and I'm suing for emotional distress.
Randomize
