we've reached the level in our friendship where i don't think he would rape me
Dear man in the lobby please go play whith yourself elsewhere
I have come to the conclusion that if you don't fulfill your life ambitions you should go into porn
Just found a 7-11 receipt for new years eve at 1:30 am apparently we felt the need to buy three jars of pickles and a gallon of milk does this ring any bells?
This has been the biggest binge-drinking season of the decade.
Do you know who the random guy who just walked in to kiss me goodnight is?
Cat. Why do you sit on things I need to use.
Because it is cat.
apparently when a guy says "if there's anything missing in your life, I will provide" he's not expecting attractive lesbians to be the answer.
He jumped into a mall fountain. I don't think that warrants a lifetime ban or the disorderly persons charge, but whatever. Fuck you Pennsylvania.
congratulations on joining the accidental bisexual club
Remind me to tell you about this weekend with them. It was the least fun I have ever had drinking. And I have thrown up pork and beer through my nose on the side of the freeway.
Honestly, if you don't have a lawsuit pending against you by this time tomorrow, I'll be impressed.
Best and worst whiskey dick ever. I am hungover and can't move from the hours of sex, he on the other hand has a raw bruised dick. I win.
Yeah, sometimes it takes a while to realize, wow you kind of suck and not in the fun way
Ok, you agree to the terms? We can have sex, but this doesn't mean we're back together...it just means we're working on things. Got it? Sign here.
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